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Am I allowed to be sad?

September 22, 2017 by april dillow Leave a Comment

I hadn’t talked to him that day, that week, or even that month.  In fact, I hadn’t seen him in three months when he died.  The distance he placed between us and between himself and the rest of our family, I believe, was directly related to his sickness.  Although, I didn’t know that at the time.  I didn’t know how sick he truly was.  About a month and half before he took his life was the last time I heard his voice.  I remember trying not to cry too much as I told him “I just want my brother back”.  I remember trying to listen more than I spoke, and choosing ...

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Filed Under: personal, writing

Our Book

September 12, 2017 by april dillow Leave a Comment

September 12, 2016: I parked the car and stepped out with the book and the flowers in hand.  It’s a hot day so the green carnations I’ve bought are starting to wilt.  Nevertheless, I start out on to the grass steering clear of the other stones as I make my way to his.  I have to catch my breath, like I do every time I come here, as I approach the granite stone etched with his name and a picture of him smiling on my wedding day.  The tears start to fall as I wipe the dirt stained water spots off of his picture and my hand comes to rest on his face.  More tears ...

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Filed Under: Uncategorized

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HI, I’M APRIL!

HI, I’M APRIL!

I’m an encourager and I enjoy chatting with you about what God is teaching me. Every day I’m learning and every day I’m reminding myself who I am in Christ. I’m a simple girl who speaks about hope in the midst of my own struggles. Whether I’m sharing my story of God’s faithfulness through the loss of my brother to suicide, or talking about my daily sin struggles and remembering to give myself grace, God is walking me through every part of it.

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